Almost every Friday I sit down at the kitchen table and write out my "To-Do" list for the weekend. Invariably it involves many chores around the house - vacuuming, cleaning the bathrooms and kitchen, wiping down the wood floors, mowing the lawn, trimming the hedges, cleaning/rearranging the garage, etc. Today, as I was vacuuming, several questions crossed my mind: Do I really need this big house? How would I be spending my time (and my money) if I downsized to a condo or apartment? Where would I begin if I decided to downsize, with all of the furniture, the stored items in the basement, and all of the closets and cupboards? What would the kids think if I moved from our home? And finally: What would Janell WANT me to do?
People have said: when you are ready to do (fill-in-the-blank), you will know. How will I know and how will I know the ramifications of my decisions? This house has so many memories. It truly was/is OUR home, the first one Janell and I bought together. We decorated it with our ideas. We lived in it - we loved in it. The vast majority of memories are so warm, but a few hold modicum of grief and pain.
And so I put aside this decision for a later date. With the decisions regarding leaving my current employment and beginning my new company, decisions concerning moving my Mom out of her apartment and in with my sister, decisions about supporting my step-kids as they venture out on their own without my assistance, and decisions pertaining to a so-called social life, the home decision slipped on to the back burner. However it is still simmering.
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