Unknown Territory

I feel like I'm setting off on a voyage into unknown territory with maps that are twenty years old, with an undetermined amount of resources and an aged ship.

The last time I was a member of a single's group and dated was almost twenty years ago. I really don't want to date; "small talk" is not my forte; and I've lived happily in a couple's world. Yet I do want to have a social life, to see movies, to go to the theater, to travel and to connect with interesting people, in addition to the professionals with whom I associate. I can learn how NOT to date by watching reruns of Frasier. I have had several friends, who during the course of a conversation, say these words: "I have a friend. . . ." I have responded with "I'm not ready," and I haven't been ready, whatever that means. In  fact, I don't know what ready even means. But maybe I need to venture into those murky waters.

I am stepping into a totally new area in September, with the transition from being an employee to being an independent evaluator. I'm not sure of the many varieties of resources I have on board, such as a solid funding stream, backup resources such as health insurance and tech support, or the innate ability to stay focused in a home office. This is new approach to my worklife; I'm both excited and fearful. My home, my investments, and my professionalism are on the line.

And my ship - my health, my intellect, my stamina and my wellbeing - are somewhat aged. I'm not that thirty-something or at forty-ish midlife transition person any more. I'm within three years of full social security, as if that means financial security any more, if it ever did. I physically can't do what I've done in the past, with long work hours, late nights and rigorous exercise. I'm in a ramping down mode at a time when I need to be ramping up. I worry about having the energy to successfully steer this ship.

And so I have these many "opportunities" and I will face them, relying on my family, friends, peers, and my skills/talents/experience/fortitude. Send good thoughts my way!