Slowly, ever so slowly, I am going through the house, organizing, cleaning, shuffling, and in a limited way, beginning the process of . . . . and I can't even finish the sentence. I packed up bathroom products and left them for the Boy Scout food and personal item drive. I have several boxes sitting in our closet - empty. I have looked through tee-shirts - those with Wildwood, Ralston and high school play productions logos. They still sit on a foot locker in our bedroom. I've reorganized the family room shelves which were full of picture frames, candles, scrapbooks, and figurines of various sizes and designs. I've put her scrapbooking workshop in order.
What does it mean if I actually start putting Janell's personal items in boxes, to be stored for kids and siblings or given to community charities? I know intellectually that Janell would want these items to be put to good use - there are countless women returning to the workforce who could use her professional clothing. There are also countless families who could use sweaters, shoes, blouses, slacks, etc. that she no longer needs.
Does it diminish my connection to her, not having her personal things in our closet, dressers, and shelves? Will the memory of her, so often connected to those items, start to fog over? I don't know, and I don't know if "strength" or "courage" or "honor" is the right word for releasing these tangible parts of her life and our life together.
People tell me that I will know when it's the "right" time for gifting clothes and other belongings. What do people know?
Mike, I don't think that giving her personal things away diminishes your connection to her at all!! If you are ready to put them in boxes, then you should do it. Please don't give them away, until those people that you choose go through them. Especially the kids!! It is all a part of the process and it is important that they not skip it!! I will help in any way that you want, but don't want to be in the way, or be there if my help isn't needed. I really love to be around things that remind me of Janell. I find great comfort when I am scrapbooking! I love to find paper that I know she gave me or use the tools that she gave me. I don't know why, but it just makes me feel closer to her!! You need to keep the things that make you feel good, and pack what doesn't away!! It is your life and it is important that you feel good in it!! Big hugs Colleen
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