Okay - I really am an evaluator. I have been thinking about Bridges' book - Transitions - and the three stages of change: endings, neutral zone and new beginnings. I could see the movement through grief that same way, with different terminology. Ending becomes Grief; Neutral Zone becomes Coping; and New Beginnings become, in essence, New Beginnings. And one could graph them with the "x" axis Time and the "y" axis having three strands, equal to 100%.
In the beginning, there is 100% grief, with limited coping and NO new beginnings. As time unrolls, the grief strand lessens, coping grows, but almost no new beginning. Theoretically, grief slowly dissipates, coping stabilizes, and new beginnings emerge. Over time (and how does one calculate the amount of time it takes to transition from grief to new beginnings?) one hopes coping skills are of a healthy nature and new beginnings become a bright and purposeful future.
But to move into that realm of new beginnings, one needs to let go of the pain, anguish and that sense of emptiness with the loss of a love one, and fill that void with love, respect, wonderful memories and shared past experiences. One truly honors that lost relationship by re-building a life filled with meaning, healthy relationships with family and friends, and hope.
No comments:
Post a Comment